


Don't Go Home Without Me

by wherehopelies



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, also tiny baby infant aden, baby!aden, except finn... he ded..., linctavia + child, shiny happy blissful cuteness WHERE NOTHING BAD HAPPENS AND EVERYONE IS ALIVE, single mother!clarke, whatever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-06-07 17:28:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6816694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wherehopelies/pseuds/wherehopelies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is trying to balance being a single-before-25 mom and being an artist, and she really loves her tiny baby son, Aden. She's not really looking for a relationship, but sometimes people (aka Lexa) just come into your life and become part of your family. Side Ranya and Linctavia. Domestic baby fluffy stuff because I'm a sap.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The party and the meet-cute (sort of)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kevinsfriend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kevinsfriend/gifts).



> i guess this is multi-chap but i'm keeping them short and i'll update once in awhile now that i'm on summer break.

Clarke flutters around her apartment, one eye on the clock and one eye on the carrier in the living room. She knows there’s still plenty of time until she has to leave, but today is the kind of day where her stress is maximizing every small detail into a potential catastrophe.

She can’t help it, even if she knows it’s silly.

Or maybe not so silly, she thinks as her phone lights up with an incoming call.

“Hello?” She says even though she has caller ID. “Monty?”

“ _Clarke,”_ he rasps and she pulls the phone away from her ear just to double check that it is her friend calling. “ _Clarke I’m so sorry, but I have to cancel. I have bronchitis.”_

She feels her shoulders sag in disappointment, even as she puts as much sincerity into her voice as possible. She knows that Monty wouldn’t lie just to get out of babysitting. “Oh, that’s okay. You don’t sound too good.”

He makes a noise that she thinks might be a chuckle before he erupts in a fit of coughing. “ _I feel like death_ ,” he gets out after a minute. “ _I don’t want to get Aden sick_.”

Her eyes involuntarily glance back to the living room. “Yeah that’s probably for the best. I hope you feel better.”

_“Thanks, I’m sorry again. I owe you.”_

She shakes her head. “No, Monty, of course not. It’s fine, really. Try to get some rest.”

They hang up and she puts her head in hands. Monty had been her last hope at finding a babysitter.

Then she perks up. Or maybe he’s the perfect excuse to stay in.

//

_“What do you mean you’re not coming?!”_

Clarke grimaces. “Monty is sick and he was my last option at a babysitter.”

 _“Why can’t you just bring Aden?”_ Raven suggests. Clarke opens her mouth to argue, but Raven interrupts. “ _Don’t argue, it’s my birthday and you know it’s best friend law that I get what I want on my birthday.”_

Clarke snorts. “Yeah where was that law on _my_ birthday when I asked you to get me ice cream?”

_“What the fuck, Griffin, you were in labor! I wasn’t going to leave to get you ice cream!”_

“Ugh, I hate you.” Clarke lets her head fall back against the top of the couch. “But fine. I’ll see you in an hour.”

 _“You better bitch!”_ And with that, Raven hangs up.

Clarke groans. Today is just really not the day for this.

//

It’s not that Clarke is disappointed that she’s bringing Aden out, it’s just that she really doesn’t think a 25th birthday party is necessarily a great atmosphere for a six month old baby, even if it is just an afternoon barbecue.

She really didn’t even want to go in the first place because she’s only recently started leaving Aden with babysitters for a few hours and it still makes her nervous. But this was Raven’s birthday, and Raven is her best friend, and she really _was_ there when Clarke was screaming about ice cream during her labor, so she kind of figured it was just something she was going to have to do.

She’s just _tired_ , like all the damn time, and she really wishes she was spending this day in her bed cuddling with her son and catching up on some much needed sleep.

Having a kid is fucking exhausting.

And it’s not like she didn’t expect that. She did. Of course she did.

That’s probably the best thing about pregnancy being 9 months. You have a little time to prepare.

But that’s also the worst thing about pregnancy being 9 months. That’s _so_ not enough time to prepare.

//

If she’s being honest, a thousand years wouldn’t have prepared her for becoming a mother.

And sure it’s exhausting, and terrifying, and sometimes when she’s had a particularly long day, she’ll stare down at Aden and it won’t really register that he’s real.

Like he’s a real life baby. Right there. That came out of her body and who she’s responsible for.

Like no offense to mother nature or god or whatever… but what the fuck.

Still, once she comes back to like, consciousness and realizes that yeah, he’s like totally a real, actual, non-imaginary, tiny human (seriously what the fuck), it’s all totally worth it.

She doesn’t mean to brag but her son is pretty much the coolest six month old on the planet.

And that’s not just because she dresses him in the cutest outfits a baby could wear.

He’s really smart, and super cute, and he actually doesn’t even cry _that_ much.

And he just… gets her. Like, yeah, she knows that doesn’t make sense, because how can a _baby_ – legit like an infant – just _get her_ , but he does. Once she was holding him and feeling really overwhelmed with everything and she started crying a little, and Aden lifted his tiny baby hand and set it on her cheek and just _left it there_. Like he knew Clarke was upset and was trying to comfort her.

Yeah, she knows it doesn’t make sense because he’s just an infant who isn’t capable of like, cognitive reasoning or something, but it happened.

He’s just totally the best son a single-before-twenty-five-mom could have.

She’s not going to say there are things about her life that she wouldn’t change, but not one second has gone by where she’s thought that about Aden.

Even if she does sometimes have trouble accepting that he is a real-life human baby that came from _her_ vagina.

(Like seriously, what the fuck.)

//

Clarke sighs and adjusts the diaper bag on her shoulder before bringing her hand up to ring the doorbell. Aden gurgles at the sound and raises his fist in the air as if he wants the sound to continue.

“I know, baby,” Clarke murmurs absentmindedly. “Are you excited to see Aunt Raven?”

Aden just stares at her with his giant eyes until the door swings open and she breaks eye contact.

“Clarke you’re here!” Raven beams at her and leans in to give her a hug which is made really awkward by the fact that she’s holding Aden in his carrier and also his giant ass diaper bag.

“Happy Birthday, Raven,” she says into her friend’s neck, and okay, she knows she didn’t really want to come that much, but she’s still happy to see her best friend.

Raven pulls away and looks down. “And where is my god son?” She bends down and carefully unbuckles Aden from the carrier before scooping him into her arms and balancing him on her hip. “Hello there Chubster.”

“Raven,” Clarke admonishes, but she knows it’s no use.

(The nickname has stuck since the day he was born. The doctor set him on Clarke’s chest and Raven had leaned over with wide eyes. “Dude. Is he supposed to be that chubby?”)

“Ugh he has the cutest cheeks,” Raven says, using her index finger to poke at his cheek before giving it to Aden. He grabs onto it immediately and sticks it in his mouth. Raven laughs. “Gross dude.”

She pushes back into the house still carrying Aden and Clarke follows, setting his stuff near the door. A few people she sort of recognizes from some get-together in the past smile at her and she nods her head at them amicably, still hustling after Raven who has disappeared into the kitchen with Aden.

When she finally catches up, she rolls her eyes as Raven holds Aden carefully up to her chest, showing him off. One of her arms rests under his body while she loops the other around his stomach. In front of her, a woman leans down to Aden’s eye-level. As Clarke watches, she starts to play peekaboo, smiling widely when Aden giggles.

Clarke smirks and pulls out her phone to take a picture.

“Aw, look how cute,” she teases, waving the phone in the air. “Anya playing peekaboo.”

The woman glares at her but doesn’t stand up straight, her face still at Aden’s eye-level. “Delete that, Griffin!”

“No way. I totally have blackmail.”

“Blackma-” Aden cuts her off with a laugh and she softens. “Aden your mommy is the worst. Yes she is.” She grabs his foot and wiggles it a little. “And you’re totally making my girlfriend have baby fever, aren’t you?”

Raven snorts. “I do not have baby fever! I’m simply spending time with my godson on my birthday.”

“Mhmmm,” Anya hums and shoots Clarke a knowing look over Raven’s shoulder. Then she kisses Raven on the cheek and turns around to finish putting together a salad to go with dinner.

“I don’t have baby fever,” Raven mutters. “I’m twenty-five dammit!” Then she glances at Clarke guiltily. “I mean… darn it… Crap. Sorry, Clarke.”

Clarke just shakes her head, resigned to the fact that when Aden starts saying real words (which she hopes will be any day now…) that the first thing that will come out of his mouth will probably be a string of curse words.

Raven slides open the back door, taking Aden out on the porch with her. Clarke steps out after her. “Look Aden there’s Auntie O and Uncle Beefcake.”

Lincoln looks over from where he’s grilling burgers as Octavia snorts. “Raven stop calling my husband a beefcake.”

“Well he _is_ ,” she scoffs, continuing to hold Aden to her chest. He reaches his arms out toward Lincoln, but Raven shakes her head. “Uncle Lincoln is busy, but he’ll say hi to you later. Come on, Chubs, let’s go make the rounds.”

Clarke watches as she takes her son back inside, half of her still not used to letting him out of her sight, but the other half knowing that Raven would never let anything happen to him.

“Take a load off, Mama, have a beer.”

Clarke smiles at Octavia and sinks down into the deck chair next to her friend. “I should’ve left Aden with Sam’s babysitter.”

Octavia nudges Clarke’s calf with her foot. “Honestly, when Raven heard Monty canceled she was over the moon.”

“Anya says she has baby fever,” Clarke mentions, causing Octavia to break out in a fit of giggles.

“Let’s make them watch Aden and Sam one night and she’ll be cured of _that_ quicker than you can say Baby Reyes-Woods.”

Lincoln turns around, his eyes wide. “Babe don’t joke about that. That baby would be…” He shuts his mouth to keep from saying something else, eyeing the sliding door. “Chaos unleashed,” he whispers.

Clarke and Octavia look at each other before cracking up, their laughter mixing together in the evening air. “He’s so right,” Octavia says after they’ve stopped laughing. “And I thought Sam was crazy…”

“Sam is an angel, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Clarke says, raising her eyebrows in Octavia’s direction.

Lincoln’s laugh is disbelieving, but happy. “She’s taking more and more after Octavia every day, Clarke. Don’t kid yourself.”

Octavia nods in agreement and groans. “I never knew a one year old could be so… ornery.”

 Clarke chuckles at that. Then she softens, feeling thoughtful. “Do you think Aden and Sam will be friends?”

“Yes,” Octavia and Lincoln respond at the same time.

Octavia grins. “If Aden is anything like you, they will be.”

Clarke rolls her eyes. “I don’t think he’ll be like me that much. He just seems really…” She thinks for a moment. “More sensitive than I am.” Then she shakes her head. “He’s six months old. I sound crazy.”

“No way,” Lincoln says, his back to them as he uses the spatula to take the burgers off the grill. “It’s intuitive. You know him. He’s your son.”

“Totally,” Octavia agrees. “I knew after two weeks that Sam was going to be a goofball and I wasn’t wrong. She laughs more than Lincoln.”

“Mhmm,” Lincoln nods. “Parental intuition.” He smiles at her and lifts the plate in his hand. “Should we tell those crazy kids their burgers are ready?”

Clarke chuckles. “Do you guys ever feel like you’re missing out on being young still?”

“Sometimes,” Octavia says. “But it’s worth it.”

“Definitely.” Lincoln smiles softly at Octavia. “Wouldn’t change anything for the world.”

Clarke nods. “Yeah,” she says. “Me neither.”

//

Everyone has eaten and Raven has had her fill of godson time and is taking shots with Anya, so Clarke decides to try to get Aden to take a nap.

She hopes it won’t be too hard. He should be exhausted after playing peekaboo eight thousand times with a bunch of rambunctious twenty-somethings.

She bounces with him as she walks from the kitchen to the living room where it’s quieter. A few girls (she thinks their names are Echo and Luna) sit talking on the couch, but they’re quiet and she thinks it’s quiet enough for Aden to get some sleep. _Desperate Housewives_ is playing on the TV in the background and she absentmindedly watches while she tries to rock him to sleep.

“These ladies are so silly,” she murmurs to Aden, hoping to lull him to sleep. “Yes they are. So, so silly.”

She watches for a few minutes before looking down to see if he’s asleep. He’s mostly motionless in her arms, but his eyes are open and they’re staring off away from her at something. She follows his gaze to a young woman she doesn’t know who is smiling softly at him and waggling her fingers at him in a small wave.

Clarke grins to herself. She’s used to it. People in public stare at babies, make faces at babies, coo at babies. It’s a thing.

“Say hi, Aden.” She shifts so she’s facing the woman better and Aden leans his face into her neck, peeking from her hair. She smiles at the woman. “He’s shy sometimes. Probably because you’re so pretty, right Aden?”

The woman laughs a little at that and Clarke feels heat shoot into her cheeks.

“Oh my God, sorry,” she says, half mortified. “I hate when people do that, like, he’s a baby he doesn’t know the difference. I’m just projecting because I think you’re pretty probably.” She pauses. “And oh my god why did I say that?” She shakes her head, letting out an embarrassed laugh. “Anyway… I’m Clarke and this is Aden. Please excuse my lack of a filter.”

The girl tilts her head to the side curiously, her green eyes glinting playfully. “I’m Lexa. Nice to meet you, Aden and Clarke.” The corners of her lips twitch up in a careful smile. “He seems like a wonderful boy.”

Clarke places a kiss on his head. “I don’t want to brag, but he’s the coolest.” She scrunches her nose playfully.

Lexa raises her eyebrows. “Must be genetics.”

“Of course,” Clarke grins, but pauses when she feels her phone vibrating in her jeans pocket. She adjusts Aden in her arms so she can fish it out. Her eyes widen when she recognizes the number. “Crap, I need to take this.” She looks around as her phone continues to ring. “Umm, sorry can you hold him really quick?” She doesn’t really wait for Lexa to respond, just hands him to her gently.

Lexa’s eyes widen in surprise, but Clarke already has her phone pressed to her ear and is making her way into the bedroom to take the call.

She was expecting a call from Alie but not until tomorrow. The woman is commissioning Clarke to paint a picture for her sister Becca’s new office downtown. The sisters, co-founders of a prosperous tech company, fell in love with Clarke’s art last summer when one of her pieces was in a gallery in the city.

Clarke had jumped on the offer to paint something for them. She really needs the money. Ever since Aden was born, she’s been struggling. Her mom has helped her out with money and it’s been fine, but really, she’s an adult with a kid. She can’t live off her mother forever (even though Clarke knows her mom probably wouldn’t mind at all).

Alie agrees to meet up with her later in the week to discuss some details and Clarke hangs up with a smile on her face.

Then she realizes she had basically deposited her son in the arms of a stranger and feels her eyes widen. She hurries back to the living room, but she’d worried for nothing. Lexa is sitting with Aden in her lap, allowing him to slap her hand in a continuous high-five. As Clarke watches, he laughs and pokes the woman in the cheek happily.

“Sorry,” Clarke says as she approaches. “I totally just forced you to watch my kid. I don’t know what’s with me today.”

Lexa looks up at her and smiles softly. “I don’t mind. Is everything okay, Clarke?”

“I, uh.” Clarke sits down next to her, her back against the couch. “Yeah. I’ve just been commissioned to paint something for a super rich lady.”

Lexa grins, her eyes sliding over to Clarke’s while still holding Aden in her lap. “Congratulations, Clarke.”

“Thanks. And really, thanks again for…” She gestures toward Aden. “I swear I have it more together than this usually.”

A snort comes from her side. “Don’t listen to her, Lexa, she’s a mess.” Raven appears in front of them wearing a shit-eating grin. “And what is this?” She barks out a laugh. “Anya get in here and take a look at your sister right now!”

“What?” Anya pokes her head in the entrance to the room. “Oh my God Lex, are you holding a _baby_?” Anya’s mouth falls open and Clarke looks at Lexa, who looks slightly embarrassed at being called out, but Clarke has no idea why.

“Please, Anya, don’t be…” Lexa fidgets, her hands stilling on Aden’s sides as a blush creeps up her neck. “I am perfectly capable of caring for children.”

“Yeah, but…” Anya crosses her arms over her chest. “You wouldn’t even get a pet when I suggested it.”

Lexa sighs as if they’ve had this conversation multiple times. “I live in an apartment building and there is no room for a dog to run around anywhere, it would not be fair.”

“What about a cat?” Raven asks.

“I’m allergic,” Lexa mutters.

“A fish?”

Clarke snorts. “Fish are boring, please don’t get a fish.”

Lexa smiles at her. “I don’t want a fish.”

At that moment, Aden lets out a whimper and Clarke knows he’s about to start crying. She sighs and gently takes him from Lexa, bouncing him up on and down on her lap. “Shhh, you’re fine, I know.”

“Raven! Your margarita is ready!” Octavia calls from the kitchen and Raven hops on Anya’s back to be carried to the kitchen. Clarke sighs as Aden scrunches up his tiny baby face, clearly uncertain if he wants to start wailing or if the bouncing is helping.  

Lexa shoots her a sympathetic look, her lips pulling up slightly. Something in Clarke’s chest expands, a sudden rush of fondness for someone she doesn’t really know, but she’s always felt things quickly and too much.

She exhales in a small laugh. “You don’t have to sit with me. I’m probably heading out soon anyway.”

Lexa shrugs. “I don’t mind. I was hiding from Anya in here anyway.” Her eyes widen immediately. “Please do not tell her I said that.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” Aden has thankfully quieted down a little and she smooths his hair over to the side. It’s always so unruly. She thinks he might need a haircut. “Why were you hiding?”

“She was trying to set me up with someone from her work.” Lexa’s face remains unreadable, but her eyes give away her annoyance.

Clarke laughs. “Oooh, with who?”

Lexa sighs, her lips thinning. She glances around discreetly, maybe looking for the person in question. “Her name is Emori.”

“Oh I know her!” Clarke grins. “Yeah, she’s a piece of work. And I think she has a thing for our friend Murphy.”

Lexa nods. “She is just… not my type.”

“Girls?” Clarke asks.

Lexa shakes her head. “Girls are my type, but…” She tilts her head to the side. “Rebellious punks? Are not.”

Clarke feels her body shake with laughter and she tries not to disturb Aden. “Three weeks after I had Aden, Raven tried to set me up with our friend Harper.” She shakes her head in exasperation. “Those two are clearly meant to be.”

“Yes, they are both…” Lexa bites her lip around a smile, shaking her head.

“Obnoxious morons?” Clarke supplies.

Lexa nudges their shoulders together. “You said it, not me, Clarke.”

“I’ve said worse.” They grin at each other for a second until Aden lets out a tiny yawn that has Clarke’s heart breaking from cuteness. “I guess I better get this little guy home.”

She stands up, holding Aden to her front. He leans against her shoulder, his eyes barely open. She kisses the top of his head gently and lets out a sigh.

Lexa stands up after her. “Do you need help getting anything to the car?”

“Umm.” Clarke grabs the diaper bag and loops the strap over the shoulder Aden isn’t leaning on. “Actually, yeah, can you grab his carrier there? It locks into his car seat.”

Lexa grabs it and they walk to the car. Once the carrier is secure, Clarke carefully sets Aden in it, buckling him in and making sure he’s all set. His eyes are closed when she pulls back and she tries to close the car door quietly.

“Thanks again,” Clarke says to Lexa. “It was really nice meeting you.”

“It was nice to meet you, too, Clarke.” Lexa smiles softly and folds her hands in front of her. “Maybe I will see you around.”

Clarke grins. “Yeah, I’m sure. Raven yells at me if I disappear for more than three days, so.” She shakes her head fondly. “She’ll probably be mad at me for leaving without saying bye, but she’ll get over it.”

Lexa nods. “I’m sure she will.”

Clarke opens the driver’s side door of her car. “I know I said it, but thanks again.” She gets in her car and shuts the door, rolling the window down. “See you later, Lexa.”

“Goodbye, Clarke.”

Lexa doesn’t go inside until Clarke has pulled away from the curb. Clarke turns onto the main road, trying to drive smoothly. She glances back at a stoplight and notices Aden has fallen asleep finally. The sight makes her sigh in relief.

Today was full of unexpected surprises. Despite her earlier worry, none of them managed to be catastrophic. Thinking back, she guesses most of them weren’t even bad, like the commission news and even the party was fine.

She thinks of Raven holding Aden, and her conversation with Lincoln and Octavia on the porch. Her mind lingers on a soft smile and green eyes.

Maybe the day was a pretty great one after all.


	2. Knights and Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke walks in on her friends' terrifying babysitting shenanigans, reflects on some things, and runs into someone at the store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of character death/car accident

When Clarke began her day, she hadn’t anticipated she’d wind up with a sword pressed to her throat, and yet…

Here she is.

The sword is plastic, of course, but still.

“Umm.” She flinches backward as the tip hovers within centimeters of her skin. She takes in Raven’s outfit, an eyebrow shooting up her forehead as her eyes travel from the knee-high tie dye socks to her Nike shorts to her tank top and the blanket tied around her neck like a cape. The sword pulls back and Raven’s face appears from behind a pizza box shield.

“Hark, my lieges!” Raven gasps. “We have been honored by the presence of the Princess!”

Clarke tries to look past her friend into the house. “What’s going on?”

“The Lady demands a status report!” Raven grins at her and grabs her arm, pulling her into the house and down the hall to the family room. “Attention Royal Subjects!”

Clarke doesn’t know if she should laugh or be worried for the safety of her child. She leaves Raven and Anya to babysit for one afternoon so she can meet to discuss her newest commission and returns to find that they’ve transformed their family room into a pillow fort and are playing dress up. With fake swords.

Plastic, like she said, _but still_.

She can practically feel her eyeballs comically popping out of her face. “Why is there a sword next to my infant child?!”

“It’s not… I mean…” Raven pinches her eyebrows together. “He can’t pick it up…”                  

Anya, who’s sitting on the floor with Aden in her lap, tries to subtly slide the sword across the carpet to Lexa. They’re both in outfits similar to Raven’s. Aden has a paper crown sitting on his head, his blonde hair sticking wildly up from the middle.

Clarke honestly has no words.

“We got them at Toys ‘R’ Us… they were on sale for like, fifteen dollars, Griff. They light up!” Raven waves her sword in the air and Clarke watches as green, blue, and red lights flash up and down the plastic blade.

“And what is he going to do with… _four_ light up swords that are as big as his body?”

Raven scrunches her nose. “Four? No way, dude, this one is mine.”

“He can play with them when he gets older,” Anya suggests, bouncing Aden in her lap a little. A loud laugh bubbles out of him and he wildly hits the ground with his hands.

Raven gasps. “The little Prince demands that we kneel before him!”

Clarke snorts. “Really.”

“Does the Princess have to kneel?” Lexa asks, crawling forward and kneeling in front of the Prince.

“Good point, my liege!” Raven points her sword at Clarke with a flourish before kneeling next to Lexa. “Your Grace.” She bows slightly and Clarke bites her lip to keep in her smile. “Our Prince and his Royal Advisor have requested our service.”

Aden giggles again as if to agree and Clarke grins. “You have served your Kingdom well, my Loyal Subjects.” Clarke tries to nod authoritatively to play the part. “Your allegiance to the Crown has not gone unnoticed.”

“Your mother, Queen Abigail, has suggested that we be promoted to Knighthood, Your Grace!” Raven smirks cheekily and Clarke quirks an eyebrow.

“My mother may be the Queen, but I’m in charge! And you will show respect when addressing me!”

Clarke is pleased to see Raven’s mouth drop open at Clarke’s sudden commandeering of their game. Lexa bows her head, trying to hide a small smile. Clarke doesn’t know how her new acquaintance got roped into this babysitting charade, but she appreciates the effort.

“Regardless,” Clarke pauses, clearing her throat before speaking again. “I agree with her. You are to be Knighted.” Clarke picks up Aden’s unused sword from the carpet. “You must pledge ultimate loyalty to this Crown.” She moves in front of Lexa. “My subject, what say you?”

Lexa straightens her back, tilting her chin up. Her eyes steady on Clarke’s, beautiful and bold. “I swear fealty to you and to this Kingdom, Princess Clarke.”

Goosebumps rise on Clarke’s arms and she holds back a shiver. She clears her throat again. “And if you shall betray this Crown – ”

“I won’t,” Lexa assures her with a determined nod.

Clarke sets the sword on the woman’s shoulders like she’s seen them do in the movies. She has to admit she’s enjoying this game.

“Very well,” she says. “I induct, thee, Sir Woods into the Royal Knighthood.” She moves in front of Raven. “And what say you, irksome subject?”

Raven scoffs. “Irksome? What the fu-uuuuuudge…” At Clarke’s steely look, she rolls her eyes and straightens. “I pledge to be loyal and whatever to Her Grace, His Highness, and especially to His Highness’ Royal Advisor.” She winks at Anya over Clarke’s shoulder and Clarke rolls her eyes.

Clarke sets the sword on Raven’s shoulders. “Then I induct, thee, Sir Reyes into the Royal Knighthood. Rise up!”

Raven and Lexa stand up and Clarke grasps each of their forearms in turn, sealing the deal. As soon as Raven releases her arm, she bends down and picks Aden up from his spot on Anya’s lap.

“Prince Chubster, I vow to protect you and your cheeks until the end of time!”

Clarke laughs a little. “Well I’d hope so… that was kind of the idea behind the whole godmother thing.”

Raven holds Aden up so their eyes are on the same level. “Princess Sass can’t fathom our unbreakable bond, My Prince. But don’t worry, I know we understand each other.” She hugs him close to her chest and Clarke melts a little, but it’s quickly ruined when Raven sticks her tongue out at her over his head. “Come on, Your Grace, let’s go get your things so your mommy can take you back to her Royal Apartment.”

She carries him down the hall, still talking to him in her knightly voice. Anya murmurs something about Aden’s carrier and follows her, leaving Clarke in the family room with Lexa.

Clarke shakes her head in Lexa’s direction. “So I’m guessing they manipulated you into their little game.”

Lexa meets her eyes, smiling softly. “Anya said to come over because there was an emergency.” She points toward the corner of the room where Clarke sees one of Aden’s stuffed animals on the floor. “Turns out the emergency was a fire breathing dragon threatening the kingdom.”

“Oh of course.” Clarke rolls her eyes and tilts her head toward Lexa curiously. “I’m surprised I haven’t seen you around here before. Raven and Anya babysit Aden all the time.”

“I just moved here about a month ago, actually,” Lexa says.

“Oh, from where?”

“Vermont,” Lexa replies, her nose crinkling slightly.

Clarke raises her eyebrows. “Didn’t like it?”

Lexa shrugs. “It’s really gorgeous there, but I got a better job here in the city.” She smiles when Clarke looks at her questioningly. “I work in finance for a tech company. Nothing too exciting.”

“Well, that’s cool,” Clarke says with a small laugh. “Sounds very… reliable.”

Lexa shoots her a playful smile. “Are you saying being an artist is not reliable, Clarke? I can’t say I’ve ever heard that before.”

“I’m sure you haven’t.”

“Says someone who was recognized by, what did you say? ‘A super rich lady?’” Lexa grins at her and Clarke feels heat rush up her neck.

“That was just a coincidence,” she murmurs self-consciously.

Lexa raises her eyebrows. “I highly doubt that, Clarke.”

Clarke smiles at her teasingly. “You haven’t seen my art.”

“Well,” Lexa’s eyes meet hers. “Maybe someday.”

Clarke feels a curious rush of anticipation and hope pang in her stomach, light and pure, like the first truly warm day of summer. “Maybe.”

“Princess Clarke!” At that moment, Raven slides back into the room, Aden’s diaper bag and another bag of his toys in her arms. Clarke notices one of the swords sticking out of the top. “His Highness is in the hall with his Advisor and ready to embark on his Royal Journey.”

Clarke glances at Lexa before looking back at Raven. “Thank you, Sir Reyes. I suppose the Royal carriage awaits.”

She says goodbye to Lexa and Raven and meets Anya in the hall. They walk out to the car and Clarke locks Aden in and gives her friend a hug, promising to take all of them out to lunch soon as a thank you.

When she finally gets home and carries Aden into the apartment, his paper crown pressing into her chin, she breathes out a small laugh. Her apartment may not be a castle, she thinks as she kisses his hair through the crown.

But she sure does love her little prince.

And her idiot friends aren’t half bad either.

//

She has her fork halfway to her mouth when she realizes what day it is.

It’s been a long week. Aden’s been teething and keeping her up all night. She’s been distracted trying to get the base layer of this commission done and nobody has been able to babysit so she’s been trying to work on it in the brief moments Aden has decided he wants to nap. When she’s not rocking him to sleep, she’s been absorbed in the work, sometimes taking several seconds to snap out of it when his cries buzz through the baby monitor.

So yeah, it’s been long a week and she’s been really distracted and she can hardly be blamed for not realizing the day.

She should’ve though, and being busy is no excuse.

Clarke freezes, her fork halfway to her mouth, her mouth open in realization.

She sets her fork down and drops her head into her hands.

Tears spring into her eyes and she takes a deep breath, pushing up from the table, her meal now forgotten. She moves easily down the hall, her feet guiding her into Aden’s room. She peers over the edge of his crib only to find his sleepy eyes staring up at her. He mumbles something at her and lifts his hands in her direction. Picking him up, she holds him close to her chest as his head falls on her shoulder.

One year since Finn’s death. How could she not realize?

She kisses Aden’s head, leaving her nose in his hair and inhaling deeply. He smells like baby shampoo and home and her. She feels a tear drop onto his head and she sniffles, using one hand to wipe under her eyes.

Clarke sits down in the rocking chair in the room, sighing and leaning her head back, Aden still in her arms. One year since he died, and she never thought she would be here. Alone and struggling to get anyone to consider buying her art, her mother still helping her out. Being a mom at twenty-four.

They’d only been seeing each other for a month and a half when she’d discovered she was pregnant. They weren’t even officially a couple, just casually dating and sleeping together. It’s not that they hadn’t been careful, but they’d slipped somewhere along the way.

Clarke hadn’t considered children as an option at that point. She’d wanted them someday, when she was married maybe, and surer of her career. But when the doctor had confirmed what the pregnancy test had told her, something within her woke from a deep slumber.

She was worried, and scared, but she wanted to keep him.

Finn had agreed. They could keep dating and try to raise the kid and whatever happened, they would work it out.

He died in a car crash just two months later.

Police said it was a bizarre fluke. He hadn’t hit anyone, and the weather hadn’t been bad. He might’ve been texting or just overcorrected too much and he swerved into a pole.

Clarke feels her tears return as she thinks about it.

She hadn’t been in love with him yet, but she might have been someday. He was nice, and funny, and he cared. She misses everything he was and everything he could’ve been. More than anything, she misses what he would’ve been to Aden.

She knows what it means to lose a father and she imagines that not knowing the man won’t make it any easier on her son.

Clarke doubts herself for the millionth time since Aden was born. What if by herself she’s not good enough?

She knows she has an unbelievably strong support system, and Aden’s family is beyond large and loving. He has people he can go to if for some reason he doesn’t want to talk to Clarke.

But still, she thinks. There’s a reason there’s usually two people doing this thing. She feels so out of her element sometimes. She just wants to give Aden everything the world can offer, and she’s not sure she can do that alone.

She knows once her dad died, her mom tried her best. Clarke never doubted her love or that she always wanted what was best for Clarke. But day after day, she missed her dad more and more. Her mom just didn’t _understand_ her in the same way.

What if Aden feels that with her?

These aren’t new fears, but after a year of feeling them, they certainly seem magnified in that moment and Clarke feels so small and the boy in her arms seems so fragile.

The love she feels for him is stronger than any emotion she’s ever felt in her life and to say that she isn’t scared every single day would be an understatement.

She just wishes she had someone to share the burden.

She misses Finn and what they could’ve been together so much. She doesn’t know if it would’ve worked out and she’s not naïve enough to think that they would’ve had some happily ever after, but her heart breaks at the idea that they never even got to try.

She rocks Aden back and forth a little, trying to get a handle on her thoughts. She thinks about calling her mom, but she suddenly feels a familiar wave of exhaustion wash over her.

She wipes her eyes one more time and stands up. Then she kisses Aden’s temple, whispers that she loves him, and sets him down gently in his crib.

She goes back to the kitchen and packages up her dinner for leftovers tomorrow. She finally crawls into bed twenty minutes later, finding comfort in the way her pillow smells like laundry detergent and how the dark settles over her like a cocoon.

When she finally sleeps, she dreams of her dad playing catch with a young boy she somehow knows to be Aden, and both of them are smiling.

//

 Clarke’s eyes scan the shelves in front of her, one hand on her hip, the other on the cart. Aden babbles on from his place in the cart and the nonsensical baby talk goes in one of her ears and out the other.

Shopping is always such an ordeal these days, between trying to keep her eye on Aden and buying him baby food and diapers and stuff for herself to eat. She’s always been a little scatter-brained, but having more things to keep track of certainly hasn’t helped.

And she always forgets to make a list. She really has to remember to get some milk.

She pulls a can of baby food off the shelf, grimacing at it. She thinks “mashed peas” and “squash” are probably the most disgusting things that have ever happened to her, but Aden loves them. Scooping green gunk onto the tiny spoon and watching Aden fail to keep it in his mouth is almost physically painful for her, if she’s being honest. Still, he always eats more of the mashed peas.

The things she does for love.

“Okay,” she says to Aden after she puts the food in the cart. “Enough nasty baby food for you. Mama is getting herself some chocolate.”

Aden continues babbling to himself so Clarke decides he has no objections and pushes the cart to the candy aisle, reminding herself to get the milk next.

She hums to herself as she looks over the options, seeing some new organic brand she doesn’t recognize. She just wants some good old-fashioned Hershey’s. Is that so much to ask?

She finally finds the dark chocolate and grabs a bar, turning around to place it in the cart. She notices Aden has stopped talking to himself and she frowns. Then he lifts his arms in front him and starts giggling, his hands slapping on the cart handle enthusiastically.

Clarke quirks an eyebrow and subtly looks over her shoulder to see a familiar woman in dark jeans and a blazer, her hair pulled over one shoulder in waves.

She lets out a laugh and turns around fully.

“Well hey there stranger.”

Lexa smiles, moving forward. “Hello, Clarke. I thought that was you.”

Clarke grins. “What gave it away? Was it the exhaustion under my eyes or this random baby that seems to be stalking me?” She tilts her head in Aden’s direction as he lets out another string of nonsensical baby talk.

“Neither.” Lexa crosses her arms in front of her, confident and certain. Clarke finds it endearing, the assured way Lexa seems to be holding herself even as her eyes seem to shyly find Clarke’s. “I think it was the aura of royalty following the two of you around.”

Clarke pauses before she realizes what Lexa’s alluding to. “Ah, yes, Sir Woods, even us royals must venture into the common market.”

“Is that so?”

“Sure, where else would we get ingredients for our royal feasts?” Clarke scrunches her nose playfully and it makes Lexa laugh. She feels a rush of happiness fill her chest, like even though she got nothing done on her commission today and it was a struggle to even get to the store, at least she accomplished _something_. Even if it was just making someone laugh a little.

Someone very… pretty.

And then it hits her that she’s been flirting. With someone pretty. And she can’t remember the last time she did that.

Well, that’s a lie. It was with Finn.

It just feels like a lifetime ago.

She clears her throat. “So umm. Do you, like, live around here?”

Lexa nods. “Off Bloom and Main.”

“Oh, that’s just down the street from me.” She gestures toward Aden. “We live off Main and Walden.”

“Just around the block then,” Lexa says, her voice soft and open, and Clarke has always been impulsive and spontaneous, controlled by her shifting emotions and fleeting whims. And something about Lexa makes her _feel_ something more than plain exhaustion.

Makes her feel awake and alive.

It’s just a hunch, but she has never been good at ignoring those.

“Huh,” she says. “You should come over for dinner sometime then. Maybe this weekend.”

Lexa blinks at her, her body stilling and eyes focusing solely on Clarke. “This weekend?”

Clarke nods. “I mean, I never got to thank you for spontaneously helping babysit _twice_ now. It’s only polite.”

“Oh, that is not necessary, Clarke. It was no problem.” Lexa tightens her jaw as if she is prepared to argue about it and Clarke waves her hand in the air.

“No, I insist.” She drops her hand back down awkwardly, the words already leaving her mouth even as her brain tells her to slow down. “Plus, I was thinking that maybe if umm, what did you say… rebellious punks? Weren’t your type. Then maybe starving artists with a kid might be?”

She wants to face-palm, but instead she grabs her wrist with her other hand, trying to appear confident. She thinks it’s working because Lexa totally blushes.

“Are you asking me out, Clarke?” Clarke can’t say for sure, but she think Lexa’s holding back a smile.

“Well, technically, I’m asking you in. For dinner, I mean. At my place. Netflix and chill and all that.” Her eyes widen. “I mean. Just dinner. And Netflix if you want to? I know Netflix and chill is a thing, but I don’t think I’m quite ready for that, I mean I have a toddler. We could _actually_ chill though? I don’t know when that became a saying? The internet is such a strange place.”

Clarke’s about ready to die, if she’s being honest. But Lexa’s smile kept growing while she was speaking so she thinks she managed to somehow be smooth while totally not being smooth.

“Dinner sounds lovely, Clarke.” Lexa laughs a little and Clarke breathes easier. “And Netflix just added a new deep-sea documentary I have been meaning to watch.”

“Deep-sea?” Clarke pulls a corner of her mouth down in a playful frown. “Sounds terrifying. I think I’d rather go to space.”

Lexa shrugs with a smile. “Between you and me, Clarke, I’d rather keep my feet on the ground. But I find the documentaries quite engaging.”

“Well, alright then,” Clarke grins. “It’s a date.”

They exchange phone numbers with a promise to talk later in the week. Lexa says goodbye to Aden, smiles at Clarke one more time, and heads the other direction while Clarke goes to the checkout.

She’s so preoccupied thinking about the fact that she asked Lexa on a date, her first date in ages no less, that she’s paid for the groceries, strapped Aden in the car, and has driven halfway home before she realizes.

Crap.

She forgot the milk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being patient with me. 
> 
> emilyjunklegacy.tumblr.com


	3. Netflix and Chill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke tries to combat her nerves with little help from Raven and Anya. Lexa comes over for their date.

Clarke’s a pacer. She always has been. She must’ve logged an unprecedented amount of miles pacing her apartment in the months leading up to Aden’s birth. She doesn’t know why she does it. It doesn’t _help_ her exactly. But _not_ pacing would definitely have disastrous consequences. Granted, she doesn’t know what those consequences are, but she’s certain they exist.

“Oh my God, can you just sit down for one minute?” Raven’s eyeing her from the couch while she bounces Aden up and down in her lap. “You’re driving me crazy.”

Clarke’s not positive, but she thinks she starts pacing faster. She doesn’t know why she’s like this.

“I don’t think she can hear you.” Anya’s head follows Clarke back and forth as she makes her way from one wall of the room to the other. She’s sitting in the arm chair by the TV, feet crossed under her, a sarcastically wistful grin on her face. “All of this pacing for Lexa. Amazing.”

 Her stomach squeezes with nerves. She stops pacing. “What if she just said yes because she feels bad for me?”

Anya raises an eyebrow and leans back in the chair with a shake of her head. “Lexa doesn’t do anything she doesn’t want to do.”

 “I’m cute right? I have things to offer the world.”

“Yes,” Raven says. She shifts Aden in her lap so she can gesture at Clarke with one hand. “You’re a total MILF, Clarke.” Clarke feels her face twist at that image. Anya doubles over with silent laughter while Raven grins. “And you’re a good mom. _And_ you’re a kick ass artist.”

“What if she hates my art, or what if we have sex and she hates my stretch marks?” Clarke returns to her pacing. She barely notices Raven and Anya share a look.

Anya hums. “Clarke you’re being very un-Clarke-like right now and it’s messing with my head. I think what you’re meaning to say is, _if she’s lucky enough to have sex with me and hates my stretch marks then she can fuck off._ ”

“Mhmm,” Raven agrees. “Also, like, it’s Lexa.”

Clarke throws her hands in the air. “Yeah, I don’t know what that means.”

“She’s like polite and shit,” Raven shrugs.

“Yeah,” Anya backs her up with a nod. “She’s like actually polite, though, not like a fake polite. Her brain won’t let her hate your stretch marks.”

Clarke’s pacing takes her to the couch and she slumps on it next to Raven. She doesn’t know why she’s being like this. Because she _isn’t_ like this, her friends are right. It’s just that it’s been _so_ long since she dated, and now she has a kid, and the whole game feels different.

It’s not like she’s looking for anyone else to be Aden’s other parent (what a date killer that would be), but she can’t ignore that ultimately she’s going to be forced to consider that whenever she dates anyone new from now on.

It’s just really complicated and kind of weird and she’s out of her element here.

“It’s gonna be okay dude, just breathe.” Raven pats her on the knee. “Isn’t it Chubster?” She holds Aden up to her face and twists him left to right so his arms flop around and he starts laughing. “And you’re going to sleep throughout the whole thing, aren’t you?” He blows a tiny bubble and drool runs down his chin. Raven wipes it away with her thumb.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to watch him?” Anya asks and Clarke shakes her head.

“Yeah, no, he can stay at my place. It just feels weird, I don’t want her to think I like, assumed something was going to happen so I made sure he wasn’t there.”

Anya snorts. “I don’t think she would assume that.”

“It’s fine, really.” Clarke sighs and takes Aden from Raven gently. “Plus, I kinda think he’s like a good luck charm.”

“Oh yeah, like when guys have puppies in the park.” Raven grins

Anya rolls her eyes. “He’s a baby not a dog.”

“You know what I mean, babe.”

“Mmm, do I though?”

“I’m just saying he’s like a babe magnet.”

“He’s a _baby_ , not a wing-man.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, and you know it.”

“Really? Because it sounded li – ”

“Guys!” Clarke rolls her eyes. “It’s fine.”

Raven and Anya stare at her before looking back to each other and shrugging.

There’s a pause.

“Babies are hottie magnets, I’m just _saying_.”

Clarke sighs. She probably should’ve just paced at her own damn house.

//

The last date Clarke went on that was more of a date than it was two-people-hanging-out-before-sex was at a stuffy restaurant in the city, and it was horrible.

The guy was too much of a talker and he had a pre-date stain on his shirt and they had nothing in common. There wasn’t a second date.

Then she met Finn, and dating him was more like chilling with a friend with really good benefits. Or it was, until she found out she was pregnant and then it was still just like chilling with your friend but the two of them talked about things like baby names and birthing plans, which was weird as hell.

Clarke used to be good at dating. In high school she had two different boyfriends and a girlfriend, and once she got to college, she never had trouble talking to people at parties or in class. She was a natural flirt.

She’s not sure she still has that charm. It’s just been so long since she used it with a purpose and for fun. Now she’s awkward, and she’s constantly tired which makes her scatterbrained, and sometimes she says things that are so bizarre and straightforward she thinks her brain has been occupied by one of those alien things from _Invasion of the Body Snatchers_.

She’s usually confident and sure of herself, but for some reason she’s starting to think she may no longer be dating-material.

It doesn’t help that Lexa is really gorgeous, and Clarke likes her smile and the way her eyes focus on her own when she speaks.

Or the way her presence makes Clarke feel like there’s too much air in her chest, like her lungs are shaky and full and her heart has to pump especially fast to circulate it all through her body between each inhale and exhale.

Lexa makes her feel different, and off-balance, and Clarke isn’t used to that.

She thinks she kind of likes it.

//

 **Clarke:** Hey, it’s Clarke again. Excited to see you tonight. Just wondering if you have any dietary restrictions in case you’re a vegetarian or have allergies. Don’t wanna accidentally murder you…

 **Lexa:** Hello Clarke. Looking forward to seeing you as well. I actually am allergic to peanuts, but as long as you don’t use them there should not be any accidental murder. At least I would hope not.

 **Clarke:** Oh :/ guess I have to scrap these PB&Js then…

 **Clarke:** haha jk ok I won’t make anything with peanuts :) see you tonight then!!

 **Lexa:** Thank you. See you at seven.

//

The apartment is clean. Aden’s asleep. The pasta’s ready. The sauce is almost done. The salad’s tossed.

And it’s seven.

Clarke’s just turning the stove on low to keep the sauce at a good temperature when there’s a knock on the door. She wipes her hands on a towel and smooths back her hair, trying to ignore the way her chest suddenly feels like someone started a drum roll behind her rib cage.

She barely registers that she’s opening the door, aware only of the anticipation building in her stomach and the sweat on her palms and her heartbeat in her ears.

And then it all stops.

“Hey,” she exhales and it barely comes out, felt more in her chest than on her lips.

“Hello, Clarke.” Lexa smiles at her and the buzz in her body returns as she takes in the sight. Lexa looks soft and beautiful, her curly hair pretty and free around her shoulders. She’s in a black sweater and jeans, and she looks comfortable and smart and Clarke isn’t sure she’s ever seen someone seem so confident and so shy at the same time. Lexa leans forward on her toes slightly and Clarke remembers the manners her mother paid for in cotillion for so many years.

“Come in,” she manages to say, her voice gaining back its normal volume.

She opens the door wider and Lexa steps inside, her eyes glancing around before settling on Clarke.

“I brought dessert.” She offers a small bag to Clarke. “It needs to go in the freezer, though.”

“Is it chocolatey?” Clarke holds the bag up but it’s tied at the top and she can’t see inside.

Lexa just smiles at her. “Whatever you’re cooking smells wonderful.”

“Pasta?” Clarke laughs and gestures for Lexa to follow her into the kitchen. She puts the dessert in the freezer and grabs some plates from the cupboard. “Honestly, I thought about ordering in because I’m not a very good cook, but it felt like cheating.”

“I wouldn’t have minded.” Lexa steps forward as Clarke hands her a plate.

“Well, I made this anyway. Hope you like pasta?”

Lexa leans over the stove to look at the sauce. “I do.”

“Good.” Clarke grins and gestures to all of the food. “Then help yourself. I know it’s not very formal, but I was thinking we could just eat on the couch while we watch that documentary you wanted to see. Aden’s asleep, but I’m sure at some point he’ll wake up for a few so I didn’t want to have to step out while we were having a candlelit dinner or something. Or if you even like candlelit dinners.”

Lexa smiles softly at her. “That plan sounds great, Clarke.”

Clarke nods and they serve up their food before heading to the couch. She pulls up Netflix and hands the remote over to Lexa to search for the documentary.

“ _Mission Blue_ ,” Clarke says when the movie starts playing. “Sounds good.”

Lexa hums. “I hope so. It seems promising. I’m very interested in how documentaries like this can get audiences involved in their causes. It seems like a waste of funding if they just go and produce the documentary without giving the audience a way to help move the cause forward. But I have heard promising things about this one.”

“Wow.” Clarke can’t help the smile on her face.

Lexa blushes, her fingers fiddling with her fork as she looks at the screen. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t be.” Clarke squeezes Lexa’s knee. “You’re passionate. It’s cute.”

Lexa tilts her head to the side, her gaze moving away from the screen and over Clarke’s face. “You look lovely, by the way. And this sauce is delicious.”

“Thank you.” Clarke shrugs. “It’s my dad’s old recipe. I don’t get very many opportunities to share it with anyone so honestly it’s kind of nice.”

They smile at each for a moment, a few seconds in which Clarke feels every breath rattling around in her chest, filling her with so many feelings she can’t describe properly. Comfort, like her favorite college hoodie, and familiarity, like the smell of her mother’s house, and relief, like that moment she sinks into her own bed after a long day and first closes her eyes.

It’s a little overwhelming, so she returns her attention back to the movie and her dinner. After a few minutes, she finishes her food so she sets her plate on the coffee table and leans up against the side of the couch so she’s facing Lexa more.

The documentary is okay, but mostly she listens when Lexa chimes in about something on screen and asks questions about what other documentaries Lexa likes, and sometimes she teases Lexa on how she’s kind of a nerd in the best and cutest of ways.

She likes the way Lexa knows a little bit about a lot of different topics, and how she tucks her hair behind her ear after she’s done speaking, and the way her eyes always focus on Clarke when she’s talking. Clarke’s not sure anyone has ever looked at her so sincerely and intently before and it makes every part of her feel important.

It makes every part of her feel awake.

//

Clarke fell asleep.

Her eyes flutter open at the realization and she lifts her cheek from the armrest of the couch. The documentary credits have just started rolling and she blinks quickly, trying to force the exhaustion from her eyes.

“Shit,” she mutters, and she hears Lexa chuckle from the other side of the couch. “I fell asleep, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Lexa turns off the TV and faces Clarke. “It was only for a few minutes.”

She smiles softly but Clarke shakes her head. “You must think I’m bored. I swear I’m having a good time! The best time actually. I must just be really tired. I didn’t even realize.  It’s not you though, I promise. You’re an awesome date.”

Lexa tilts her head just slightly at Clarke’s rambling and raises her eyebrows. “Clarke.”

She’s totally embarrassed, but she’s hoping if Lexa says she doesn’t mind then she really doesn’t mind. “Do you want to eat that dessert now?” She asks, hoping that Lexa doesn’t want to leave because she fell asleep.

She doesn’t want their date to be over yet.

Lexa smiles and nods so Clarke takes their plates from the table and sets them in the sink in the kitchen. She pulls the bag Lexa brought from the freezer, humming happily when she opens it and sees chocolate ice cream and a Tupperware of mixed berries.

Lexa comes up behind her and peers over her shoulder. Clarke spins around with a grin. “How did you know I have a chocolate problem?”

Lexa laughs at that. “I saw you in the chocolate aisle, remember?”

“Oh yeah.”

“And Anya told me,” she continues. “I asked her if you like wine, but she said you prefer chocolate.”

Clarke feels herself melt a little. She grabs Lexa’s hands and squeezes. “Aw, you were asking her about me,” she teases, a warmth filling her when Lexa’s expression turns shy. “But she’s right. I enjoy a good wine, but is there anything better than chocolate? Probably not.” Maybe chocolate _plus_ some other things… but she keeps that to herself.

“Well I also brought fruit. Anya always says I’m strange because I put fruit in my ice cream.” Lexa shrugs cutely and Clarke crinkles her nose.

“Strange?” She releases one of Lexa’s hands to dig around for a spoon to scoop the ice cream. “Well, people dip fruit in melted chocolate, so why not chocolate ice cream?”

“Well I told her that, but she just likes to give me a hard time.”

Clarke grins at her over her shoulder. “Well, you know, I have some pretty embarrassing pictures of Anya being a cheeseball with Aden on my phone and I’ll send them to you. Next time she gives you a hard time you can show them to her.”

A small smile plays at Lexa’s lips. “Isn’t that blackmail, Clarke?”

“Or revenge.” Clarke lets go of Lexa’s other hand to turn hers upward in a shrug. “It’s acceptable when it’s your sister.”

“Hmm,” Lexa hums playfully. “I don’t remember that section when I was reading the family manual.”

“Well did you check in the index for reference?”

Lexa laughs fully at that, joyful and pretty. It makes butterflies erupt in Clarke’s stomach and flutter to her chest. Lexa shakes her head and purses her lips and Clarke wants to kiss her.

Instead she spins back around and removes the lid from the ice cream.

She doesn’t know why. The college-Clarke Griffin never would hesitate to kiss someone pretty. She just hasn’t kissed anyone in a long time and this thing with Lexa feels different. Soft and new, like a flower in Spring-fresh bloom. She doesn’t want to crush it under clumsy feet.

“Clarke?”

“Yeah?” She looks over her shoulder to see Lexa staring at the baby monitor. Then she realizes there’s crying coming from it. “Oh.”

“I…” Lexa shifts her weight uncertainly. “I can get him if you want.”

Clarke feels her eyebrows shoot up. “Are you sure?”

Lexa nods. “Of course.”

“Okay…” She points down the hall. “The bedroom on the left.”

She listens in on the baby monitor while she scoops their ice cream into a bowl, smiling when she hears Lexa start cooing at Aden. He’s still crying when Lexa comes back with him, bouncing him on her hip.

“See, we’re going to see your mom. There she is!” Lexa’s eyes widen comically, still staring at Aden. He doesn’t look away from her, his tiny face twisted as his mouth opens in a wail. Clarke laughs a little.

“He might need to be changed.”

“Hmm,” Lexa hums and shifts him in her arms. “I don’t think so. I think he was just jealous I’m stealing all your time.”

Clarke puts the ice cream lid back on and sticks it in the freezer. “He gets me all to himself 24/7. He’s not used to sharing.”

Lexa glances at her briefly before looking back down. “Thank you for sharing your mommy, Aden. Don’t tell her, but I think she’s wonderful.”

Clarke rolls her eyes to hide her blush. “Flattery won’t get you anywhere with him, you know.”

“I suppose it was worth a try.” Lexa smiles at her and continues to bounce Aden up and down. He’s started to quiet down, just letting out a few whines here and there. Clarke grabs a spoon from the drawer and leans against the counter near Lexa.

“What’s your favorite fruit?” She points at the bowl with the spoon.

“I like them all,” Lexa says, laughing a little when Clarke rolls her eyes playfully. “Fine. Blueberries.”

Clarke fishes a spoonful of ice cream with a blueberry out of the bowl and holds the spoon up to Lexa’s mouth. Lexa’s lips close over the spoon and Clarke pulls it out slowly, watching as Lexa smiles softly.

“Sweet,” she says. “Just like you.”

“Nerd.” Clarke shakes her head, her lips pulling up in a smile. They take turns eating from the bowl while Lexa bounces Aden. When he finally starts getting sleepy again, Clarke takes him from her to put him back to bed.

She changes him and rocks him for a few minutes, smiling when he lets out a small yawn. He falls back to sleep again and she rests him gently in his crib. Closing the door behind her, she makes her way back to the kitchen to see Lexa drying off the plates they used for dinner.

“You didn’t have to do that,” she says, leaning up against the counter next to the sink.

“It’s not a problem. You do so much already and I don’t mind.” Lexa smiles at her and Clarke feels herself soften.

Everything feels quiet and easy, something Clarke hasn’t felt in the air in a long time.

Lexa sets the plates back in the cupboard and wipes her hand on a towel before glancing at the digital clock on the stove. “It’s getting late,” she says and disappointment pops Clarke’s bubble of peace, but Lexa’s right. She nods.

“Okay.” She gestures toward the freezer. “Do you want the rest of your ice cream?”

For some reason this makes Lexa smile. “No that’s okay. I got it for you.”

“Well, thank you, then,” Clarke says, leading Lexa toward the door. “I had a really good time. Sorry again I fell asleep.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Lexa shakes her head. “I had a really good time, too.”

Lexa lingers, her eyes roaming over Clarke’s face intently, and Clarke feels that sense of importance swell up in her again. She’s leaning closer and she knows it, so she just lets her body move, lets air fill in her chest.

She exhales against Lexa’s lips, and then they’re kissing, soft and slow. Lexa tastes like chocolate and fruit, like the embodiment of sweetness.

It’s short, and mostly chaste, and when Clarke pulls away, Lexa still has her lips parted slightly and her eyes closed. She opens them slowly, and the reverence with which she looks at Clarke makes her breath catch in her throat.

“Goodnight,” she says, raspy and quiet, and it’s fitting that she’d say goodbye the same way she said hello, with her heart beating out of her chest.

“Goodnight, Clarke.” Lexa smiles at her, happy and soft, and Clarke’s entire body aches with new beginnings.

When she finally sleeps later that night, she does so with a smile on her face, and Lexa’s blueberry chocolate kisses lingering on her lips.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is OOC
> 
> emilyjunklegacy.tumblr.com


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